dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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