so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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