sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
