There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
