I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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