i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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