I'm gonna have a badass scar
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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