"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
