so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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