i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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