I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
