i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
