your room smells of hookers.
And success
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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