i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
