Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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