so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh god it's open bar.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
