Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
