Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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