you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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