I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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