did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This is not my ceiling
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
