I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
