Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
