I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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