the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
