I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
