wat bout pragnant strippers??
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
