walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
