it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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