Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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