i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
