She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
