Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
