he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
we're so committed to being not committed
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