i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Randomize
