Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
