he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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