Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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