Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
