You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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