What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I want to be your penis for a week.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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