We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
