She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
