im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i drank out of a bidet.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
