Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
