his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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