I need help removing her.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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