I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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