there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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