How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
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I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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