So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
