I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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