he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
