We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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