3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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