my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
