I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
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