I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
where are my eyebrows?
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