dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
