OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
