i just google imaged poop.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
