How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
